If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? - Jerry Seinfeld

"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"

"I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like Robert Klein. I want to hear some classics and some new stuff. But a great stand-up bit takes a long time to really polish and perfect, and they're beautiful things when they're done."

"It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it."