"I'm here at The Container Store looking for something large enough to hold all my love for her. It's a flood, so I hope they sell Shipping Container Ships."
"I mined my mind, and I found no love. My heart is where excavation yields gold, and if you dig me as much as I dig you, we can both get rich."
"My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk."
"Personal branding is sales, because you’re selling an image of yourself, a mirage, and you are the product."
"When I compliment you, I compliment myself, because I am who I associate with."
"I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights."