More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I just bought a bag of poetry, but it was mostly air. The author must have learned from the potato chip industry."
"I mined my clone’s thoughts. I hope he doesn’t mind."
"I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one."
"I always wear roller skates when I ride my bicycle. The more wheels the better, and that's what makes me a better lover. You know you want to go for a spin. I'll bring the record player, if you bring 1982 and her little sister, Elton John."
"A follow-up letter is best when not written on the back of a suicide note. Remember this next time you’re at a networking event, unless your new connection is a mortician."