More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I wouldn’t feel great if you left me alone, but I wouldn’t feel bad either. I’d feel good, like I always do, which has nothing to do with you, even if you’ll have nothing to do with me."
"You can use your mouth to speak the words I love you, or you can use your mouth to kiss me and transport love from your mind to my heart."
"If my legs get blown off in war, I’d like to have them replaced with a coffee table. Half man/half furniture, I’ll be in the living room if you need me."
"My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."