Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will - John Green, Paper Towns

"Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds,"I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force."

"It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world."

"Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will"

"Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old."

"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"