"That's always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they're pretty. It's like picking your breakfeast cereals based on color instead of taste."
"Imagine others complexly."
"Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old."
"Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will"
"As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly."
"Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds,"I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force."