Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will - John Green, Paper Towns

"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You´re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

"What about the rest of your life?"She shrugged. "What about it?""Aren't you worried about, like, forever?""Forever is composed of nows,"she says."

"Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old."

"Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is actually used to cut diamonds,"I added. Radar tapped a locker twice with his fist to show his approval, and then came back with another. "Ben, getting you a date to prom is so hard that the American government believes the problem cannot be solved with diplomacy, but will instead require force."