"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."
"The going rate for love is going away. And the more you go away, the more expensive it gets."
"My I love yous were watered down, which was how I was able to grow such a beautiful garden. I’m a relationship farmer, and I’m growing as a person."
"Free running is wall dancing, and that’s why I do my best moves while sitting in a rocking chair. I like to relax dangerously."
"My brain is divided into two butterflies, and both are in love with your rose-shaped heart. If you've got the garden, I've got my whole life."