I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"She said she loved me, and I believed her, because she was looking directly at another man when she said it."
"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."
"A can’t in a can—it’s carbonated failure that’s ready to drink. It tastes like the back half of love."
"My eyes are bronze, my hair is turning silver, and my heart is gold. Oh, and my love for you belongs in the Olympics, because it’s Special."
"77 degrees in the fall feels cold, and 77 degrees in the spring feels hot. That’s why I’m selling year-round-nudity for half-price."