"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."
"Is your Happy Meal full of dancing? Put a box around it and sell it to kids. They could use the exercise."
"I wish I could climb the corporate ladder like I could climb a tree, but I can’t, because I’m afraid of heights. And bark."
"I don’t want to develop—I want to evelop, because it’s more positive. Similarly, would you rather your love evolve or devolve? That’s why if you need me, I’ll be on the sofa trying to evelop myself as a person."
"I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest."
"The lungs are fishing nets for smoke, and I inhaled her essence like she was marijuana grown just for me."