"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."
"Love now, not later. Also, love later."
"I spoke like a spoke on a wheel, as I went around and around without actually saying what I wanted to say. I was love flustered."