More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."
"2 out of 4 numbers prefer being in the bottom 50 percent. Half of all lovers also prefer being on the bottom."
"My cat is ignorant of the law. But then so am I. That means I am not his master, because we are both slaves."
"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."