The lungs are fishing nets for smoke, and I inhaled her esse... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m drowning in my love for you."

"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."

"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."

"Love now, not later. Also, love later."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."