Sometimes I ask God what I did to deserve her love. I mainta... - Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

"I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off."

"My skull is soundproof. And thank God too, or else you’d be able to hear all the horrible things I’m thinking about you."

"Two one-armed people might seem perfect for each other, but what if they’re both missing the same arm? Then even something simple like holding hands while walking becomes a case of they’re too similar to see themselves really going anywhere as a couple."

"Webster’s—the original high definition entertainment."

"I’m hungry for success. And lasagna."