The best birthday present I ever got from my grandpa was a s... - Jarod Kintz, American Association for the Advancement of Aardvarks Presents: Dear Natalie

"Today is your special day, even if today might be tomorrow to an Australian. And even though you’re not Australian, it doesn’t negate the fact that today may or may not be tomorrow."

"And as Voltaire, one of our nation’s Founding Fathers, once said, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but at your death I’ll defend what you rightfully should have said."

"If we spoke with our ears, and listened through our mouth, then a kiss might be the most romantic sound in the world."

"And as Voltaire, one of our nation’s Founding Fathers, once said, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but at your death I’ll defend what you rightfully should have said."

"Yesterday I saved a baby, a boy, a man, and an old man from death, and all by simply not impregnating anybody. But I don't consider myself a hero. Merely heroic, and also unable to reach any of my lady friends on the phone."