The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they w... - Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

"The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god)."

"What have I always believed?That on the whole, and by and large, if a man lived properly, not according to what any priests said, but according to what seemed decent and honest inside, then it would, at the end, more or less, turn out all right."

"Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think."

"The trouble with being a god is that you've got no one to pray to."

"There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do."