To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To li... - Jerry Seinfeld

"It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."

"Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it."

"If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?"

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. ‘Come on, buddy, let’s go. You get past me, the guy in the back of me, he’s got a spoon. Back off, I’ve got the toe clippers right here."