"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
"Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it."
"The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding."
"Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will."
"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
"I am always saying "Glad to've met you"to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though."