"When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and keep them close to your heart, because nothing, not even my love, can make that thing melt."
"She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would have said more, but I ran out of homophones."
"Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, because they leave me thirsting for more."
"People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A #startup should keep this mentality in mind."
"Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to each other."
"When stuck in outer space, moonwalk home. I can dance as well as any hitchhiker in the galaxy, and you can 42 off if you don’t believe me."