Jarod Kintz, Write like no one is reading 3

"I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m searching for the oasis of my life."

"I watch you like a mirror, because I see in you what I see in myself. Who we love is a reflection of who we are."

"She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would have said more, but I ran out of homophones."

"I predict that love will burst forth on the Fourth of July. That’s tomorrow, so I’d better prepare tonight for massive fireworks of the heart."

"I work in a secret whisper factory. It’s all very hush-hush. Her love for me could be found there, if it could be found at all, but it can’t, because it’s invisible."

"Even though it’s locked in a cage, my heart is a bird that flutters at the sound of her voice, as if trying to fly to the point in the sky where yellow meets blue."

"Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to each other."

"Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, because they leave me thirsting for more."

"In today's classroom everybody wins a trophy, even the one kid who actually won. Soon it will be, let's punish that kid for making the other kids feel like losers."

"I'm going to sell Flash Bang Wow Fuzz (not a drill) in a bottle, but I’m not sure how to market it. Maybe as a drinkable alternative to love."

"I watch you like a mirror, because I see in you what I see in myself. Who we love is a reflection of who we are."

"I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity, when making others smile will also make me smile."

"This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and forgiveness."

"Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to each other."

"I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m searching for the oasis of my life."

"If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The answer is: Whichever one is a banker."

"I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount prices, my love won’t last forever."

"Sleep is the breakfast of champions. This morning I had two big bowls full, each two hours deep."

"Using my thumb and middle finger, I tend to make snap decisions. Right away I know whether I like a song or not."

"She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s last name."