Robert Benchley

"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."

"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."

"There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them."