Susan Elizabeth Phillips, Heaven, Texas

"You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!"

"I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that.-Bobby Tom"

"[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him."