"A Frog in my Throat I had me frog in my throat.I swallowed hard and it croaked.Tasted like shit.Next time I get me a frog in my throat,my snooty French boyfriend better wash his dick with soap."
"The Bard's Haikus about Haiku Listen to Shakespeare,'Iambic pentameterand haiku don't mix.'A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise mannever writes haiku.If you tickle usdon't we laugh? If you wrong usshall we not haiku?The good men dolives after them; the evil'sinterred with haikus.Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some scribblesome shitty haikus."
"Pulling a Houdini Relationships are magic;we're always getting each other out of handcuffs and strait-jacketswhile locked in a steamer trunk underwater."
"Persistence If persistence is the foundation of all success, how come persistent liars and nags aren't more successful?"
"Don’t Let the Dead Fish Fool You [10w] Even the eyes of a dead fish can reflect light."
"Listen to the Wisdom of Shakespeare 'To thine own self be true and fuck'em till they're back and blue."