More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick."
"I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat."
"Today we’re living in an anti-Waldo world, where you don’t want to blend in and have people struggle to find you. You want your personal brand to stand out like you’re wearing a red and white sweater, and everyone else has on black."
"Knocking on a door is so violent. Instead, try talking to the door to get it to open up to you. I should write a self-help book for door-to-door salesmen."
"Eat, fast, and then eat fast. It’s a diet for both the body and the soul."