More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."
"I believe the way to master my destiny is to serve others. If I raise up others, am I not also raised up?"
"You can never be too early to stand around and wait. You can have a seat in this chair, after I cinch the noose around my neck and you kick it out from under my legs."
"I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me."
"I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately."