More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin."
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."
"My heart only grows more powerful the more my flowing love goes unabsorbed, unobserved, and unappreciated."
"I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet one. Still, it’s important for me to get out and meet people, even if that means hanging around department stores wearing the latest fashions."