"Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, "Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?"...Then a voice comes to me out of the dark and says, "We hate to tell you this but life is a thousand word essay."
"I love mankind; it's people I can't stand."
"Well, I can understand how you feel. You worked hard, studying for the spelling bee, and I suppose you feel you let everyone down, and you made a fool of yourself and everything. But did you notice something, Charlie Brown?""What's that?""The world didn't come to an end."
"Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."