But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had... - Mark Twain

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

"Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."