Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;... - Mark Twain

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."