"He’s right-handed, so I told him to draw his self-portrait with his left hand, because it’d look so ugly it’d look realistic. Since he’s a DC politician, I figured a little reality was needed in his life."
"The wealthier I get, the more money I will have to not have, because my goal in getting is giving, and nothing is better than charity."
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."
"Noise soup. I just made it. Taste it with your ears."
"I have a lot of faith. I mean, I believe I do."
"I buried the lasagna, because it was better than disposing of a dead body. I’ve been burned in a relationship, but never in an oven. I’ll try harder."