More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Put your middle finger and your thumb together. And make it snappy."
"Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love."
"Gold is liquid sunlight frozen in time, and that’s why I love the way ice melts in vodka. I also love the way ice melts in vodka. I’ll have another shot, if you’ll reload the revolver."
"What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two."
"I am an orange construction cone, and I say to you, “Caution.” This is my advice for love—and for driving while blindfolded, which is safer than love."