More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A love story in six words: Hello. Goodbye. In between was marriage."
"I fish the old-fashioned way—with dynamite and screen doors for nets. Don’t be rude—knock before entering the kill zone."
"A lollygagger is a person choking on a lollipop. That works perfectly, because I sell Heimlich Maneuvers in a variety of flavors."
"This morning, as I was driving to work, I mistook a big brown box on the side of the road for a deer. It was dark, and I swerved at the last second, and even though it wasn’t a deer, I still managed to nail that son of a bitch."
"In a battle of believability, the winner is the one with the best body language, not the clearest logic."