More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime."
"My ex-girlfriend was exquisite, while my current girlfriend is merely quisite. The ex always makes the past seem more excellent than the present."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."
"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."
"Leadership is being the first to put others second. Wait, that’s not right. That’s politics."