More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I'm sober. Yessiree, I quit drinking. I haven't had a beer in four hours. Now I just need some coffee and to get drunk on love poetry."
"If there’s gold in it, then the mine is mine. And if there’s no coffee in it, then the cup is yours."
"I mined my clone’s thoughts. I hope he doesn’t mind."
"She looked, but she couldn’t see. She was wearing an emotional blindfold, and though she heard me say I love you, she just didn’t listen."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."