More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m more of a journalist than anyone in the mainstream media, and I write fiction. More than fiction, I write absurd nonsense surrealism, and my work has more truth."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."
"I just invented a hug machine. It’s solar powered so you can use it when you feel depressed, like on a cloudy day. Shit."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"I want to create a 3-4 deal—buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only."