More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."
"Love flows like flowers, and grows like water. I’m so thirsty for romance I could drink a dozen roses."
"If you own the most profitable manure distribution warehouse in the world, you might not like the smell of success."
"The clouds are like marble in the sky, and I just want to make a kitchen counter out of the atmosphere. I can cook like a flock of birds."