#xazaqazax

"Relax. Just be. And be just."

"Last night my shadow exploded into hundreds of fluttering black birds, foreshadowing my love taking flight under the cover of camouflage."

"I think I’m mouth blind and that’s why all food tastes bland. The only things that have any flavor are the words I love you."

"Behold, the number five is at hand. Grab it and shake and harness the power of networking."

"She looked, but she couldn’t see. She was wearing an emotional blindfold, and though she heard me say I love you, she just didn’t listen."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"Nine out of ten politicians are thieves. The tenth politician is a liar, and the one who conducted the survey."

"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."

"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."

"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."

"Is your Happy Meal full of dancing? Put a box around it and sell it to kids. They could use the exercise."

"I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom."

"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."

"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."

"Flower petals in the breeze look like a butterfly flapping its wings. My love for you takes flight like a white orchid blushing pink."

"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."

"She said love her or be tortured by her. I replied, "Torture would be less painful."She didn't realize that I'm a true romantic."

"I need to take loving to the extreme, as if it were a sport requiring a helmet and parachute. I wonder if @redbull would sponsor me."

"My currency is kindness, and while there are no ATMs that dispense it, it’s also not accepted or recognized at strip clubs."

"Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard."