#xazaqazax

"I am restless when I rest. I sleep like I’m engaged in an invisible wrestling match. Naturally, I almost always win."

"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."

"Now that I’m 33.3 years old, the days of blue and green are behind me. I have left the earthy and entered into the purple phase of my life."

"I can hold my alcohol, just like I’m a wine bottle. I dance as fluid as glass, and my heart shatters just as easily."

"My heartbeat is a pulse, and it pumps out sonic vibrations that resonate with her mind as she lays her head on my chest. Listen silently and you can hear the frequency of love."

"I just sprayed cologne on my hand and then pet the back of my cat's head while he slept, and he woke up so confused, trying to sniff behind his neck and all around wondering what sweet attack he was under."

"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."

"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."

"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."

"Why pay for an undesirable outcome with someone else? For the same money, you could have paid me to stay at home and do nothing."

"Politically, I feel out of touch, like I’m wearing gloves—boxing gloves. We need to go bareknuckle to beat back the entrenched establishment."

"I'm all for all for one, especially when I'm the one. That's my philosophy when the dinner bill arrives at the table."

"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."

"Be mindful and heartempty, because you've got no love left in it due to you having given it all away."

"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."

"I’d fight for your love like I’m Tyler Durden. I want you to hit on me as hard as you can."

"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."

"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."

"I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom."

"My instant love in a box is perfect for Florida. Just add water."