#xazaqazax

"Some people grow cotton, while I have a t-shirt farm. The rainy season is when I get the most visitors."

"Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead."

"He rose like heroes, and I rose like rows of red roses. Love grows wherever you plant it, so I try to farm it wherever I go."

"Trees shaped like deer should not be ridden like benches if they get stuck up in other trees. No hunting farming allowed. Fishing only."

"I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"I bleed ink for her, because her name is written on my heart. She’s the author of all the love I have to give."

"I can’t use my intellect to figure out how to bypass my intellect. Love lies through the spirit, not the mind, and love never lies."

"Quit making shade while I’m trying to make noon. Go put on a blindfold and act like midnight. There’s leftover love in the freezer if you get cold."

"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."

"I don’t like my circle of friends, so I’m changing them to a square. Love shapes our lives, so why not shape who we love?"

"I know the X’s and O’s of football. I just don’t know the other 24 letters. And as a writer, this bothers me."

"Telephone pole wires get in the way of great photos. Communication always gets in the way of communication."

"My name represents me, but it’s not who I am. It’s just a collection of letters. Unfortunately, none of them are love letters."

"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."

"When it’s raining, instead of using an umbrella, try holding an empty drinking glass above your head. That’s exactly how I thirst for your love."

"I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom."

"I can hold my alcohol, just like I’m a wine bottle. I dance as fluid as glass, and my heart shatters just as easily."

"Behold, the number five is at hand. Grab it and shake and harness the power of networking."

"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."