More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."
"A woman I had sex with is carrying my child, because God has made it so that my hands are full. They’re full of hope for the future."
"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"A little part of me dies every time I try to commit suicide. If life is a buffet, I’m still in the mac and cheese phase. Maybe one day I’ll mature into more of a meatloaf kind of guy."
"I drink like a fish, and I swim in my thirst. I’m so parched for her love that I think I may drown in my desire."