More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."
"Are all caps really necessary? No need to shout at me. My hearing is perfect when the words arrive in my mind through my eyes."
"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."
"You haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen zero. You also haven’t seen nothing until you’ve seen all the love I have for politicians."