More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I asked for info, and he offered it for a price. Now I’m selling him my security services, and if he doesn’t pay me, I’m going to give him a karate lesson—for free."
"The word very will vary in muchiness. I love you very much, and that won’t vary from day to day."
"If I could make tea out of your love, would it be hot, or iced? Would it be black, or green? Would it be sweet, or unsweet? Would you offer free refills?"
"An empty ketchup bottle full of romantic quotes is just what I need to turn my cheeseburger into the perfect lover. Now you can get more romantic for an upcharge of just 69 cents."
"Just when you thought you’d considered all the angles, life goes from a square to a cube. Love should also be 3D."