More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you find yourself thirsting for my love, don’t forget that I sell straws in a variety of flavors. What is the price of romance? Good question. Today only it’s on sale for half-off wholesale prices. Everything must go. My entire inventory of straws is being liquidated."
"I loved her, she loved him, and he loved himself. Now she loves me, he loves her, and I love myself as I am—without her in my life."
"A sofa on an elevator would be like a slow roller coaster where you get to work on your small talk skills. Oh yes, I am an adrenaline junky."
"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."
"I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are."