There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, e... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."

"There exists a big circus tent, and the right entrance is named The Republicans, and the left entrance is called The Democrats. People argue over which is the correct path, not realizing everyone inside is a clown."

"I just bought a bag of potato chips. It was a smart buy, because when this world runs out of clean air, I’ll have plenty in that one little purchase."

"I need more frugality. I wonder where I can buy some."

"If you need me I’ll be sitting over there, on the ground, next to the empty chair. The emptiness always reminds me of your love."