"I saw someone who so closely resembled you that my heart started beating like a hummingbird's wings, and my mind flew back to where we were when we were we’re."
"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic."
"Relax. Just be. And be just."
"A turtle is like a lizard in a bicycle helmet, and I think that’s romantic. That reminds me, I should write a love song called, “Dinner for two—plus one."
"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."