More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I wrapped your birthday present in carpet, because I bought you a floor. It’s so you have something other than me to walk all over."
"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night."
"Love is a process, either growing or shrinking, but never stagnant. My love for you was David, and now it is Goliath. Also, my love for you was Goliath, and now it is David."