More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."
"If I could make tea out of your love, would it be hot, or iced? Would it be black, or green? Would it be sweet, or unsweet? Would you offer free refills?"
"I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. Powdered love poetry sold separately."
"If you merge an emergency with a mannequin, that’s how I look at networking events. Panicked stillness, that’s the look I’ve perfected in an effort to make myself appear more approachable."
"The naked truth is anything but naked. But it will be soon enough, if I keep giving it alcohol."