"If I found 20 dollars on the ground, I’d be willing to bet I’d find someone in desperate need of money that I could give it to. And I’d bet 20 dollars, so even after finding and giving away 20 dollars, I’d have made 20 dollars."
"I'm hanging on to her memory like Spanish moss on an ancient Florida oak, and unlike the sunset, my love won't fade."
"Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises."
"She asked for the time, and I said that information is for sale—by the slice. 60 slices in a whole pie."
"A white wedding dress, once worn, is like the ghost of a moment, trapping feelings of forever into fabric that’s never to be tried on again."
"Some men have actually died from laughing. That's so funny I fear for my own life."