When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’l... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"When people ask me how I slept, I tell them I don’t know—I’ll have to ask The Professor, and read his notes on my performance."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I’ll cut jewels in the shape of crumpled-up pieces of paper. Her wedding ring may look like my 33rd attempt at my marriage vows."
"I make love like I make coffins—with my bare hands, alone in my garage. On sale through Thursday—Buy One Funeral, Get A Second One Free!"
"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is."
"I lost interest in her because she said the wrong thing. She said nothing."