More quotes by Jarod Kintz, Xazaqazax

"I bought a faucet, but water wasn’t included. That’s like when you buy my love—it’s dirty and used, but soap isn’t included."
"I bought a faucet, but water wasn’t included. That’s like when you buy my love—it’s dirty and used, but soap isn’t included."
"The naked truth is the naked truth isn’t naked—it’s wearing see-thru clothing. My duty as a nudist is to let people see I’m transparent."
"As a fan of Agatha Christie, I think a brilliant mystery novel would be trying to identify the meat contents in a McDonald’s hamburger."
"When I compete, I leave it all on the table. That's my philosophy for the Hot Dog Eating Contest. Do you know what's in those things? Gross!"