If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a o... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"If you want to steal my heart, you must realize it's not a one-time heist. This theft will take every minute of the rest of your life."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"I just developed a gun that shoots mustaches. Sometimes a disguise can be deadly, especially if it’s your love you’re trying to camouflage."
"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"
"I was in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky. I would have held up my index finger, but I wasn't in love that long."
"My writing has appeared in the New Yorker and The Atlantic Monthly, though whenever the newsstand guy catches me scribbling my poetry in them, he always comes along later and erases it."
"I’m giving a free concert tonight. Seating is limited, so bring your own toilet. While there is no admission price, if you bring 100 dollars, it’s like a roll of toilet paper."