"My writing has appeared in the New Yorker and The Atlantic Monthly, though whenever the newsstand guy catches me scribbling my poetry in them, he always comes along later and erases it."
"As a sculptor, I prefer busts. As a lover of women, I prefer busts. And as a football enthusiast, I prefer Robert Griffin III."
"Peanut butter and jelly is like the older, more serious brother to egg salad sandwich. I’m an only child, so I eat both with incredible sadness."
"Silver is an investment. It’s like a second-place future. Makes me want to create Michael Phelps-flavored ice cream and eat a whole tub."
"I’m passionate about being compassionate. It takes a lot to give of yourself, and that’s why it’s such a gift—for both the recipient and the giver."
"Her heart is so dark, if it were ink it’d be beyond black and would only be good for writing a murder mystery novel."