More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Apparently I’m transparent—with my feelings, not with my body. I’m an emotional ghost, and if you can’t see my love for you it’s because it’s dead."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"Using my nipples as bait, I went fishing for compliments. I got a few bites, but nothing to write about in Field & Stream."
"The referees made a questionable call. Still, I was ready with an answer and picked up on the first ring. That ring was an engagement ring, and I said yes."
"I’m just going to keep plugging away until I find success—or an electrical socket that works. This is the secret to gaining worldly power."