I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole libra... - Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for lovers."

"My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled—or told him I loved him."

"With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come, let us dance like we’re made of stone."

"I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole library."