More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When I die, remember to remove my body from the cooler before you start making the hunch punch. But by all means, do get drunk on my memory."
"If I had no clothes it’d be winter. If I were naked, it’d be the truth and we could lie together."
"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."
"I give 110% in love. If that seems absurd, just know that I used presidential voting machines to calculate that number. It's totally legit."
"During my darkest hour, life threw me some curves. Thankfully they were in the shape of a woman’s body."