More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade reading level. If so, I can’t figure out why journalists would write something that the average high school senior can’t even read."
"My heart is spinning. Love is a tornado. Will you be my Kansas?"
"Love is a tomato. And while it's true that I can live without a tomato, I could sure go for some ketchup."
"A gumble bee is half gum ball, half bumble bee, and it’s so chewy it stings. Makes me want to be a better lover and tractor salesman."
"I don’t remember my birth. I guess I got dementia at a young age."